More Observances

Hot Plate? How About A Hot Table?
One of the Australian’s and I found a nice out of the way spot for lunch. I did not want to fall into the habit of eating burgers and fries at the Western joins in the area because of the familiarity and wanted to try more traditional Japanese cuisine. Walking into this spot was like walking into a furnace. You just slam into a wall of heat that hits you the force of white squall and I am sure I took a step backward due to the sheer immensity of the fiery blow. There was a large, flat griddle in the middle of the restaurant where five chefs were cooking up the specialty dish of this particular eatery: the Australian, who had been living in the country for a few months, informed me that it was some kind of cabbage and fish mixed with vegetables and turned into a sort of pancake. Mog, maybe you can pass on the actual name of this dish. The griddle in the middle of the place was no the only cause of the heat. Each table was also a griddle. The entire center was fashioned with steal and when we sat down the waitress flicked on the gas. Whoooosh. The hot air and gas stink hits you and it is a good thing it was relatively chilly outside because if I had done this in the summer, especially the humid sweltering summers I have read Japan gets, I would have fainted…no doubt. The reason for the table griddle, you ask? Why the waitress brings you your food and slaps it on down on the table where it sizzles and burns, keeping it warm while you eat. You are supposed to take small portions, eating quick enough so your food doesn’t burn to a crisp before your eyes, but I did not know this and just pilled my plate high. I had to glue myself to the back of the booth we sat in to escape the heat. The Aussie told me that usually these places will cook the meal right on the table for you so if you were ever going to order the fugu this is the kind of place you want to do so in. That way you can keep an eye on the chef.

Slip on Slippers Suddenly Slipping
I’m still trying to master the slippers. In Japan, it is insulting to enter a Japanese person’s home in your shoes. You are to remove them at the door and a pair of slippers will be available to you. These are just one of a few pairs you will have as different places require different slippers. For example, there are bathroom slippers strictly for that purpose. The bathroom could be located right next to the door where you just put on your inside slippers, it is still customary to remove the first pair of slippers and put on the bathroom slippers removing them when you are done to put on your inside slippers again. I have walked by a few buildings where you have dozens of slippers lined up in the window with the children’s slippers sitting at the end. In the training dorm my problem was finding a pair that fit me. I would walk down the hall sounding like a horse. Clop, clop, clop. The things would slip off my feet and I would have to go back and retrieve the straggler. Remembering to change into slippers is something I am going to have to staple, nail and weld to my mind so that it sticks. In the hotel here the Japanese guests place their shoes outside of the door in the hall so that the shoe does not touch the inside of the room. You can tell what floor our group is one because our hallway is barren of footwear.

Smoke On The Water or In The Lobby or At Your Table Or, Well, Anywhere!
Well, I didn’t think I’d come to Japan to find a world that made sense. You can smoke in buildings here. Not only buildings but in restaurants, malls, taxi cabs…if it is outlawed back home you can be certain that your butt is safe here. I am not a smoker. Never got hit by the cancer stick habit. Like excessive drinking, I find it hard to reveal in something that can do me serious harm. With that said, I think the smoking ban in Canada is ludicrous and with talk of implementing a no smoking in your own car policy things are only getting nuttier. Bars and pubs especially should be allowed to decide what type of establishment they run. Why are governments philandering to people who could simply go someplace else should the smoke haze disrupt their meal or night out? In Japan, the smokers in our group rejoice as they happily light up in the lobbies and restaurants because there is no such silly law here. One guy who had quit smoking started up again now that the shackles were removed. Maybe one could argue that such bans may turn off smokers like it had this gent and, thus, be more helpful in the end. I disagree. Some smokers are quite happy with their addiction and until sanctions are placed outlawing cigarettes, and with the big money in the tobacco industry good fucking luck, smokers should be allowed to enjoy what makes them happy without being singled out as outcasts.

Ladies of the Tracks
On our way back to the hotel this evening three of us males accidentally stepped into a Female Only train car. These are becoming increasingly popular in Japan due to the strange groping phenomenon. Train cars, as I have mentioned, are usually very packed. The fingers of males will wander in these instances and women are felt up, down and all around on train cars. Gals from other countries are huge targets due to the fact that their breasts are usually larger then those of Japanese women and that, of course, they look different and curious palms want to explore. The problem became so wide spread that the rail lines started to implement a solution with train cars devoted only to women. The signs for these cars are pink and are clearly marked. When you are new to something even clearly marked signs tend to breeze by you and we three tried to mount an effort to get on to the girl on cars. We were stopped by a friendly Japanese woman who politely told us the purpose of the car and pointed out the pink indicator. We joked later that it was our plan all along but our plot to become one with the female car had failed. We needed a Trojan Horse of some sort to get into that place. But, looking through the train window from our car we saw that a man had indeed breached the parameter and was in the woman’s car. He looked mighty embarrassed.

To Bow or Not To Bow
Bowing replaces the handshake over here and it is not something I will be getting used to any time soon. I feel very uncomfortable at this point when people bow to me and I have not been able to properly return a bow yet because I am still in shock to have people bowing in thanks or welcome. Back home bowing is reserved for after stage performances while here they are tossed around constantly. On the sidewalk when you let somebody pass, when you walk into a restaurant, the two guys at the hotel front desk when saying goodnight, parents who pick up their kids from school and so on. Your respect or thanks level works in conjunction with how low your bow is. A quick high bow is a generally used when walking by people on the street. A waitress may also use this type of bow when you walk in to be seated. Parents who bring their kids to a class or pick them up will bow a little lower as a stronger form of thanks. You are to return the bow a touch lower then the one given to you, always looking downward so not to meet the eyes of the person you are bowing to. Locking eyes in a bow means you want to engage in a fight. Men will bow with hands to their sides and women will have them folded in front of them. The lower the bow, the deeper the thanks or respect. With that in mind, should I ever be stopped by the police for something, I will try to find a sewer drain or something to get extra low! My bow will be so deep I’ll be subterranean.

No Hand Towels
Going to the bathroom here is always an adventure. Will there be a Western john or will I be the squat verity? Who knows! The fun is in what’s behind door number 1! When you discover which one you got be sure to see if you have some toilet paper because some Japanese bathrooms will not give you any. The Japanese carry little tissues with them that act as paper in a situation like this. Also, you may be handed out advertisements on the street by people that are printed on tissue paper. I wonder if these companies realize that their ads are serving as ass cleaners? I have not found a stall yet that did not have toilet paper but every place I have been has not had hand towels for after business wash up. This is more common then lack of toilet paper. I have just placed my damp hand in my pockets to dry. You know maybe those guys on the train guys are not groping women. They just need something to dry their hands with!

Escalators Keep Left? Right?
Remember I told you of the division lines on the sidewalks for bikes and walking that nobody seems to realize exist? Well, it is the opposite for escalators. The escalators here do not move until somebody steps on them. This is a good idea and a great energy conserve as opposed to having them run all the time. Sometimes there will be a yellow line in the middle where one side of people will stand and the other side will walk up. It is never quite clear which side is which until the annoying grunt, slight shove and the angry Japanese person hurries around you and up the steps. Our group never gets it right and are always holding up the entire escalator ritual. This stand one side, walk one side policy has always been strictly followed during all of our visits to the train stations. I just can’t understand how this is so widely accepted but the bike lines outside go ignored.

Not Your Grandfather’s 7-11
There are many 7-11 stores here. They use the same logo as back home but you will not find Slurpies or terrible hot dogs here. You will find rice balls, walls of anime books and lots of Crunky chocolate bars. There may be two or three western candy bars (usually Kit-Kat, Snickers and Aero) but that’s it. Crunky is like those old Nestle bars with rice crispies in them but taste less like chocolate and more like the rice. The strawberry flavor is pretty tasty and I think I am going to have a cupboard full of these babies when I move into my new place in a week and a half. Mmmmm, Crunky.