Of all the Nighthawks in the world, I'm the Nighthawkiest

“I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed,” laments Charlie Brown in the classic A Charlie Brown Christmas. On its own this could be viewed as a simple offshoot of Charlie Brown’s usually depressed state but this short animated work of genius was Schultz’s own lament over the commercialization of a holiday he saw as mainly a religious one. Jesus, in essence, was being taken out of Christmas and replaced with aluminum Christmas trees, dozens of brightly colored lights and greed. We already know my stance on religion but Schultz does have a point here and one need look no farther then a Japanese shopping mall to have that stance validated. Christmas has come early to Japan, a land that not only doesn’t really propagate the myth of Santa Claus but also has a low number of actual Christians to propagate the myth of Jesus. I’ll get into the origins of the “holiday” (actually, it’s not a holiday here) and what exactly transpires when we actually get close to it because, you know what, here at the start of November I don’t even want to be thinking of Christmas. The onslaught of that commercialism Charlie Brown spoke of even here in nowhereland Japan is making this very, very difficult.

Sometime in mid-October, and I shit you not readers, Christmas decorations started to go on sale. Lights, Santa hats, reindeer antlers, snowmen, window stickers, wreaths, stockings…basically all the images of Christmas which have become synonymous with the holiday the world over. Just as it was when Halloween decorations went on sale in August, Japan has once again disappointed me. Of all the things the Japanese could have adopted from the Western World one of them had to be the blatant force feeding of holidays in the form of commercialistic ideologies. I have no problem, NO PROBLEM, with Christmas decorations. Honest. No problem if they are sold, you know, in December but three months ahead of the actual day…come on! Seeing Halloween and Christmas decorations side by side of store racks makes me wonder if this is how Tim Burton got his idea for the wonderful Nightmare Before Christmas. I ask you, why stop there? Why not just start selling Christmas decorations in January. This would really give people a leg up. Actually, why not just have Christmas every day. Stores could then sell trees and wreaths and Advent Calendars all the time! Seeing Halloween decorations in stores here in Japan was an unexpected sight, for sure, but nothing like seeing giant plastic Christmas trees outside of the store down the block from me. Again, I live in nowhereland Japan. Very small city. Here was one of the largest fake trees I have ever seen. You can see it from the train from the previous station. It’s friggin’ November! It’s friggin’ JAPAN!!! Okay, I don’t mean to state that the Japanese shouldn’t be revealing in the fun that Christmas can be as this is a blanket statement for everywhere. Enough with the damn decoration sales months before the holiday!!!

You know, come to think of it, I noticed Christmas landing in Japan on a larger scale. Kyoto Station is the second largest train station in the country and in October, on Halloween of all days, I was there to see to wreaths the size of small towns attached to the side of the building. “Merry Christmas!” these wreaths proclaimed. It was Halloween! On the third level of the train station sat the second largest Christmas tree I’ve ever seen. The first was in Rockefeller Center. That Norway spruce had to be about 95 feet tall. Though lit in November the officially kick off New York City’s holiday season it is at least kicking it off at the END of November and not sometime in October. I approve of the giant spruce in Rockefeller Center. It was a beautiful sight to behold. The fake, plastic tree in Kyoto Station, nearly as large, did not hold the same sentiment. It was too soon and only served as a reminder of how these early store displays are now the pimps of the holiday season. What other reason but to get people into the merchandise mindset could there be to erect a Christmas display before Halloween? I had to escape all this. I was hungry. I headed into a burger joint. There was a Christmas tree in the corner and a special Christmas theme menu. “Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.”