I’ve Got A Ticket To Ride

It was time…time to set things in motion. Despite there being a good three months before I am set to return back to Canada I feel I’ve been procrastinating actually starting the process of said return. Money needs to be sent to Canada, things need to be packed or tossed, my VISA needs to be renewed for a brief overage and the final company paperwork needs to be completed. Oh yeah, and I need a plane ticket to get home. Today I’d find myself on a train to the city to do just that. I try to avoid Osaka whenever I can. Aside from the nice castle they have there it is pretty much a big city like any big city and certainly doesn’t hold the historical value to me as, say, a Kyoto or a Nara. Far too many people on far too many packed trains, overpriced merchandise and towering buildings some might call marvels. I call them skyBLOCKERS! Once you hit the first stop on the Osaka loop line all hell breaks loose. This is where I can once again make that analogy to salmon spawning up stream and how I always seem to find myself going against the flow. I’m getting better, though. I am know prepared for turning a corner into a crowd of oncoming businessmen and schoolgirls. Baby steps when it comes to those corners, folks. A tip from the Nighthawk to avoid a thorough crowd crushing!

What brings me to the city today, to the crowds, the cheesy Christmas displays and the skyblockers? Cheap airfare, my friends…cheap airfare. I’d spent the week (and actually the last month or so off and on) hunting around online for a fare just as good as the one that got me here and I was having no luck. I found everything from that marginally reasonable $1000 to the absolutely insane quote of $16,000. Seriously, does anybody pay that kind of money for flights outside of retarded celebrities? I was about to cave in on one of those grand flights when a friend pointed me towards a Japanese travel agency that not offers cheap airfares but also provides English speaking staff for folks like me who gave up on lesson three of their Japanese instruction. This was a plus, of course, because I didn’t want to screw up something as important as a flight back to Canada due to the language barrier. I dived into their website and found the prices were much better then what I had previously found, I was able to pay in Japanese Yen thus eliminating any need for a bank transfer and they had an office in Osaka. I’m still pretty old fashioned. I don’t like doing things online that can be done in person. I still haven’t really latched on to the online banking thing, for example, and I still use a bankbook instead of online updates. I like doing things face to face and I like hard copies of things. I fired them off an email. Another good sign came when it was answered immediately. I am still waiting on the quote I asked Flight Center two weeks ago. The email was from a man named Shun. He would give me a pretty good flight price for the times I wanted. “Flight will fill up soon so you need to buy soon,” he added. Don’t try to bullshit a former sales bullshitter, my friend. With a day off I decided to pay Shun a visit. I made myself a map from the one provided on the website and predictably it got me lost. I wandered around the core of Osaka for a half hour trying to read the landmarks. The Hilton hotel would prove to be the best compass. The Osaka Hilton is huge and spans two large towers and an underground. Despite the size and obvious room space, I am sure there has never been more people in the Osaka Hilton then there has been in Paris.

After a few of my usual navigational missteps I found the place. A sign outside the building proclaimed: #1 Travel! Well, let’s see. The place was on the second floor. The elevator was one of those four walls and a ceiling of mirrors deals. I always feel like I am in some carnival funhouse in these things. The pumped in musak only ices the cake. I walk in the offices and am instantly greeted by a rousing “WELCOME” in Japanese. This is common here. Whenever you walk into a store or restaurant you should expect the jolt of every staff member shouting at you in unison. I bowed lightly and the staff went about the business. The phones were ringing off the hook here with the influx of Nova teachers needing flights home. I was told that this was the busiest time in the companies history what with Christmas flights being needed and now all those Nova teachers needing rides back to wherever. I asked for Shun and was met by a short, Japanese man in a neatly pressed suit. His hair was razor cut. I must look like a homeless man in comparison to Japanese business people. To each their own. I like my frumpy sweaters. And the negotiation process began. One thing I will say about the Japanese…they don’t budge. When something is something it’s EVERYTHING or NOTHING. I couldn’t get a flight reduction. I couldn’t get a teacher discount as that is only for 2007 flights. I was told that the ticket price might increase due to airlines increasing fuel charges next year and I would have to come back and pay for that before a ticket was issued. Well, what can you do? I needed a flight back home, there were other things to do before leaving Japan and I wanted a big piece of meat off of my plate. I slapped my money down and am now ticketed, reserved and waiting. March 1st, 2007 / 11:55pm I touch down back in Canada. I should have asked if the in-flight movie would be ANYTHING staring Julia Roberts. I’d just as soon ride on the wing!