Abbot and Costello, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Harold and Maude…Pepsi and Cucumber?

First came the Chocolate Pillows. Our affair was sordid, our lust heated, but it is over now. Then waltzed in those chocolate cookie things with what looks to be the Bluenose etched into every tasty morsel. Our relationship continues to thrive. Now comes a concoction that is even too weird for me and let me tell you folks I am from the land of poutine potato chips. This week the Pepsi Corporation unveiled a brand new drink. This shouldn’t surprise anybody. It seems we are wadding into the waters of the 80s cola wars once again of recent as over few months we are introduced to some new cola combination. We’ve had Vanilla Coke. Vanilla Pepsi. Vanilla Cherry Coke. Pepsi Twist. Pepsi One. Coke Zero. Coke Black. Pepsi Blue. Why stop at the big two? We’ve had Island Fruit 7-up, Dr Pepper Berries & Cream and even Sprite Remix Aruba Jam. Yes, there have been copious amounts of colas to drink in recent years, many peculiar mixtures, but nothing comes close to the odd uniting of both cola and cucumber in Japan this month when Pepsi Co. debuted Pepsi Ice Cucumber. Yes, my friends, you have read that correctly but in case you think your eyes deceive you allow me to break it down:

Pepsi

Ice

Cucumber

Somebody working for Pepsi one day made the decision that we as a race have lived long enough with a merger between cola and cucumber. Now, in the 2007th year of our Lord, we were ready. So it has come to be that the great Gods of Pepsi have delivered to us our cola/cucumber salvation this month in the form of this intriguing beverage. Well, delivered it to the Japanese anyway as this limited edition drink is only available this summer in Japan. What providence that I should be here to witness this event. I was not alive to see man walk on the moon but by God I am alive to witness Pepsi Ice Cucumber and somehow my life feels a little more complete.

I stumbled across the cola by accident. I was looking for some ice coffee, my normal drink of choice out here. I first believed I was looking at a bottle of 7-up, a rare thing to see in Japan. Closer inspection would place me face to bottle cap with what has to be the strangest cola combination since Dead Kitten Coke in the early 70s. Ice Cucumber Pepsi. First, bypassing the whole Pepsi thing, ice and cucumbers don’t even sound like they belong together but cola and cucumbers? I first walked away from this drink certain that it would be as vile a brew as Cherry Vanilla Coke, a drink I couldn’t hold down thus breaking a rather long vomitless streak. Temptation called me back to the green liquid in the gree bottle. How could I pass this up, right? I gazed at the 500ml bottle sporting no images of cucumbers but plenty of ice. I think the good folk at Pepsi may have realized that placing a cucumber on a drink labeled as cucumber might be a death blow. If people bought into the name the phallus of cucumberdome would not be needed to sell them. This was to be sold to the weak, people like me, who couldn’t combat their curiosity. I snatched the bottle from the shelf, purchased and quickly slipped out of the store as though I had purchased heroin. That thought would be very prophetic.

Outside I found a nice spot to sit on the train and twisted open the cap. The air hissed out and dozens of green bubbles raced to the top. I smelled first the bottle cap, nothing, and then inside the bottle. The drink had an odor, a faint one, but it did not smell at all like a cucumber. It was more minty, a deep mint. I lifted the bottle to my lips, shrugged, and downed me my first taste of Pepsi Ice Cucumber. My first thought was that it didn’t taste anything like Pepsi, a plus in the favor of this beverage already, and though there were faint hints of cucumber in the taste this drink was more like somebody dropped a Grandma purse mint into some root beer and let it sit there for a few days. I took another drink. Then another. Then another. This stuff was very tasty. It would take one more bottle to finally render me an addict, a Pepsi Ice Cucumber junkie because, dare I say, this drink is the best tasting cola I have ever had the privilege of pleasing my pallet with. Trust me, folks, I have been around the cola block a few times. I’ve done them all. Hell, I’ve done them all while slamming a Dew! Who ever thought a prime ingredient to most salads would taste so good in cola form? Not this cucumber skeptic but taste good it did. I say bring on Lettuce Pepsi, Baby Carrot Coke and Zucchini Sprite!