Fun With Japanese Television

I briefly flicked on the small television in the corner of the room last night during a bout with either excitement laced insomnia or my body not adjusting to the time zone shift. It may have also had something to do with the noisy heating unit above me. I’d have turned it off it I didn’t fear being transformed into an icicle within minutes. I sleepily flicked through the few channels I was able to receive. I knew I wouldn’t be able to understand the programming but I was curious as to what I would find on Japanese television at 2 AM. Des, you would be happy to know that at least four of the channels was playing some anime. I didn’t recognize the shows but the animation was brilliant. The other stations were very graphic heavy in the corner of the screen. Picture, saw, the NBC logo bug you would get back but much larger, intrusive and in more corners then one. Flick. Flick. Flick. English? Was I dreaming? Hallucinating in a jet lag haze? Just what was in that Creamy Café anyway? I had just passed a channel and in my sleepy state thought I had heard English. Not just English, though, but a voice I recognized. I quickly tried to find the station again and, well, wouldn’t you know it, the voice that I had heard was that of Good Ol’ J.R. I was watching WWE’s Monday Night Raw being broadcast in English complete with Japanese subtitles. I have fallen out of watching wrestling over the last few years but at one point I was a fanatic. On this, my first morning in Japan, I sat and watched wrestlers I didn’t know for the sheer elation of being able to find English programming here in Nagoya. The voice of Jim Ross was like a friend in the dark room and though I didn’t much care for anything I was seeing, my adoration of “pro” wrestling having faded, I watched until the eyes grew heavy and sleep finally claimed me.

It is now 9:29. I appear to still be alone in the training center. I woke up a few hours ago. At first I was unsure where I was. My brain still expects to awaken in my room back home and for a few seconds I saw my surroundings of the familiar one’s I had left two days ago. Normally I would have walked downstairs to fix myself a tea and find my mother watching her soap operas. A pang of missing came over me thinking of mom smiling and saying “He’s alive!” as she normally would. So now the heater rumbles. I have organized my baggage, set out some clothes for the weekend and have made the bed. I am about to set out to find some breakfast and maybe an internet café where I can post these entries. I may even try to tackle the daunting Nagoya subway line. But first, let’s have a little more fun with the television and see what passes for morning programming.

Channel 1
Has the time in the top left hand corner which was used conveniently when I set the new time on my alarm clock and laptop. There is a graphic in the lower right hand corner. I can only recognize the numbers 2 and 1000. Classical music plays in the background and the Japanese narrator seems to be speaking about bank accounts. It appears as though I am following three Japanese students about there daily routine. When anyone but the narrator speaks subtitles appear in one of the unused corners. I am unsure what the language is. This appears to be the Japanese equivalent to Breakfast Television as the scene has just changed to some morning personalities sitting around a table. And now onto some commercials. I have just busted out laughing because this little toaster just flipped it’s lid and greeted me with a “hi” in the cutest voice imaginable. The scene has changed to some Japanese parliament discussions, I think. Not very enthralling so lets move on.

Channel 25
This channel is out of focus but looks to be playing a Japanese soap opera. Two bewildered women have just discovered a wealth of money hidden in a cupboard. Like the American counterpart, cheesy music permeated the scene. Again, when people speak the translation text appears on the screen. I’ll have to ask what the language or translation is as it is now starting to prey on my curiosity.

Channel 3
Japanese stations don’t seem to advance in numerical order. Here is another morning show. Host and guests are discussing various plants and are now trying to sell me the seeds to grow them.

Channel 33
Static although, if I really listen, I can make out some voices underneath.

Channel 5
A news show, maybe? Hey, some English here? A guy in a business suit is being interviewed about Watergate and flashes of stock Nixon footage is displayed. Watergate? Could this station be broadcasting from the 70s?

Channel 35
I am now watching a very odd Japanese game show (again, I can only assume. This could very well be the weather network for all I know). Two energetic hosts stand before a panel of six young Japanese men who are swaying their bodies from side to side to Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. Two little cartoon characters dance with them on the sides of the screen. One guy, for some reason, I dressed in a baseball outfit. I can’t understand the point of the game but the set is really colorful. Bright graphics are all over the place.

Channel 37
This station is very static heavy but I can make out the image. Looks to be a health program currently devoted to the legs.

Channel 9
Another news program. Morning broadcasting is not very different from back what with all the news programs and breakfast shoes.

Channel 11
Men in the traditional robes and hair styles I’ve seen in Kurosawa films walk down a set of stone steps leading away from a beautiful shrine or temple. One of the men carries a sword seethed at his side. A woman, hair upright, walks with them in a colorful kimono. Now some ninjas have stormed the temple, a dozen men clad in black. They slice and stab everyone in sight. The music swells. Back to a meeting of disguinshed looking men each in a different colored robe. They sit in the lotus postion listening to an older man. Another quick cut and now I am looking at gaishas giggling in a courtyard. Could this be a Samurai soap opera? Of everything I have come across on Japanese television this is the most interesting and I find myself wishing I understood the language.

These are the only channels I am able to receive. The programming, at least thus far, is not as odd as I expected. The commercials, however, are strange little advertising romps.
Lots of brightly colored text and graphics. I wonder if these are as much of a distraction to the actual product being sold to the Japanese as it is to me. The commercials are often very sexual, especially the ones at night. Not just for products of an adult theme but everything. I have seen advertising spots that made fish shaped crackers sexy. Lots of upbeat people moving quickly around the screen, eyes wide, excited about everything. I have never seen somebody so ecstatic about the preparation of coffee or water filtration devices. Cartoon characters pop up all over the place in high pictured voices.

I was happy to discover, though, that I understood some of what was being said. The words for little, I, excuse me, do you understand, yes and no were all used at one point or another during my channel flipping.

Okay, enough fun with the TV. Let’s take a deep break, put on my coat and head outside.